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Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tasteless Humor
I had hung out with this guy, Larry, a little bit and he was and probably still is (he hasn't really talked to me since this incident) a pretty cool guy. He eventually said he had developed feelings for me and wanted to go on a real date. I agreed and another friend of mine and I decided it'd be fun to go on a double date. We decided it'd be kind of fun to go to the Ice Cream Festival, so we agree on a time etc and meet up.
Larry had a truck so he obviously couldn't drive 4 people, and the other guy was unemployed and my friend's car was also doubling as a storage locker at that time, so that left the option of me driving. I knew where it was and it was no big deal, I really don't mind driving. However, Larry, didn't even chip in for gas. Larry, didn't have much money at all that day, even though we had planned this a few weeks in advance, and he lived with his dad and made decent money. As far as first dates, I'm pretty old fashioned and I believe the gentleman should pay, especially if he asked first.
So we drive down and we get there and the day is pretty uneventful. I'm actually kind of disappointed in the whole event. The group chemistry was all wrong, we all had different interests, and we were cordial enough we had a nice time, I don't think it was outstanding for anyone. I usually like to go to fairs and festivals, to laugh at the kids wearing ICP shirts, and get way too into cheering on some kind of pie eating contest, or even dancing carelessly to some local band I'll never hear of again and I don't even like. That was not how the day went. The best part of the day was watching a sheep dog show, which was pretty adorable.
So it's now time to go and we're all trying to meet up over by the pond and I realised Larry had gone off somewhere. I wasn't sure where, but I was kind of glad for the alone time, considering the chemistry wasn't there anyhow, and he had started to get on my nerves. Anyhow, he shows back up and by this time I had met up with the other 2 members of our party, and then we head off back towards home.
We get back and I decided to ask if he wants to get some food 'cos I was hungry. He agrees and we go eat and I get the kids burger (boca burger) and fries and he pays for it (he does get points for that) and then it was still kind of early and considering it was suppose to be a date, I ask if he wants to go watch a movie at the drive-in. He says "That'd be cool, but I have to go home and change my pants first." I am puzzled by this, it was a dry, sunny day; it's not like we were muddy. So I question him on it. His reply, "I kinda shit my pants a little bit. Back at the Ice Cream Festival, when I ran off to the bathroom, I sharted." At that moment there was a pause, I asked questions, like "and you rode back in my car?" "uh, why didn't you say something sooner we could've stopped somewhere and go you clean underwear" and then I died of laughter, and I laughed for a good fifteen minutes. And then I told everyone, 'cos he was a regular at the restaurant I was working at.
I got called immature and mean, and a few people have approached me over the way I handled the situation, but damn it, poop will always be funny. It's a first date, you don't tell your date "Oops, I shit my pants!" and expect to not get made fun of. There was not a second date after, and he was no longer a regular after this either, because everyone made fun of him for shitting his pants. And as a word of advice on how to handle the situation if you should ever find yourself in it, go to the bathroom, take off your panties, put them in the trash and clean yourself up; pretend it never happened.
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