Whoppers do not equal sex.



So after I shared this story of this date, I was called a "hopeless romantic." I would never describe myself as such, but after this date I think it killed any kind of hope I had for romance. I had met this guy on MySpace back in the day, he had just moved to Ohio from out west. (Disclaimer: I'm still friends with this guy, he's pretty legit; it was just a bad date.) We talked online for awhile, and I even went to meet him once, and he was cool. He lived about 2 hours from me, but I was like "what the hell? People like him don't exisit in a 50 mile radius. Gave him the benefit of the doubt since he didn't have a car, since he was new to the area and all, and just started working. So we decided to go on an actual date.

He lived near the state line, so he worked in the neighboring state and he asked if I could meet him there(That did add an extra hour to my drive however). I agreed thinking that maybe since he worked there he knew somewhere to go out by where he worked. So I arrive and pick him up and I'm like "Where are we going?" He replied, "Back to where I live." So, off we go, I didn't really know what was going on, but I'll go with the flow and I figured it'd work out alright. He asked if he could get a smoke off of me, I told him it was fine, and off we went. It was a long drive back. He only asked for the one cigarette, but proceeded to smoke half of my pack of cigarettes, and it was just kind of an awkward car ride. I realise we are close to his exit and I bring it up and he was like, "Yeah, it's just a few more exits down." In all reality, we had passed it a few exits back. So the one hour car ride back, had now turned into a two hour car ride. And we still hadn't actually gone on our date.

I asked him where we were gonna go, and he kept telling me places and we'd drive by them and they'd be closed, but there really wasn't much around where we were anyhow. I think it may have been a Sunday, too to make the situation worse. So we drove around for awhile and finally got back to his town, where nothing was open. I really needed to find a bathroom 'cos I hadn't been out of my car since about 4pm and it was now like 10pm. So we find a drugstore that's open, so I go in use the bathroom, and get back in my car to see if we can finally find something to do.  We drive down the road a bit and there is a Burger King and it's open. At this point, I don't care at all, and I'm like it's fine, even though only the drive thru was open.

We go thru the drive thru and he's like "Get whatever you want, I got you!" And we park in the parking lot to eat. My car now smells like a whopper, and it's pissing me off. When we are finished eating, he tries to get friendly with me. Hell no! Not that I'm against making out in cars in parking lots, but I had been in my car for about 7 hours at this point and it now smells like that whopper, all I wanted to do was go home. I'm sure I made up some excuse, something like, "I think I hear my mom calling" and drove him home. The cherry on this date was right before I pulled down his road, he said, "Kiss me now, so my parents don't see you or your car." And leaned over and gave me a peck. I was seriously like, "WTF?" I like to believe he jumped and rolled out of my moving car even though I know that didn't happen, but it was a quick exit when I finally dropped him off.

I get back on a freeway to head back home and the first exit down, I see a sign for a Steak 'n Shake, open 24 hours. It took days for the whopper smell to leave my car and I'm still waiting to get that pack of cigs repaid.